Thursday, July 10, 2008

Second week of July

Monsoons are here, even though Fruit Ave is still dry as a bone. (I'm trying not to take that personally.) For the record, we have had lovely cool temperatures for over a week, since before the 4th. Very comfortable. High 80's. Partly to mostly cloudy. I threw open all the windows last night to let in the crisp night air. Projected high today in the LOW 80's. Isn't that a long, crisp drink of water?!

What you love, you will come to resemble. (The tomato plants.) I played hymns last night. Drank 2 glasses of California Cabernet. Sprawled in the back yard and rubbed the dried lavender blossoms on my hands. Squinted at all the shapes and sizes, of leaf and pot, brick and rock, bleached wooden fence slats and the occasional lazy, vibrant blossom. Then I went upstairs, threw open the doors and let the cats bounce on the bed while I labeled flower parts and read all the fine print in my Botany Coloring Book.

Feed Creativity, Feed Creativity, Feed Creativity...
Okay. One little thing -- internet jazz radio to soften the trauma of being crammed in cages at work. With no personal space. No emotional space. Chickens peck each other to death when they are treated this way, you know? So--tune out. Go away in my head. iTunes. Radio stations. Jazz Laramie. They play great music. The DJs have lovely voices. No commercials. And bits of BBC news. Thank you Planet. But where the hell is Laramie?!

This week I heard from Susan Isley. It was just nice to see her name pop up. A reminder that I have been other places. Been other people. Done other things than now. All that geography, all those struggles. Hmmm. And Hooper wrote. Miss her terribly. She is considering Japanese Beetles.

TOMATOES. Oh my gosh I adore them. I'm watching them, can't keep my eyes off. I'm searching for little green globes like an Easter Egg hunt in mid-air. Only better.

Sarah Orne Jewett (quote pinned up over her writing desk) - 'Fail! Fail again, fail harder!'

Free Will Astrology for week of July 10, 2008
Aries (March 21-April 19)
"The only way to get a difficult feeling to go away is simply to love yourself for it," says author Christiane Northrup. "If you think you're stupid, then love yourself for feeling that way. It's a paradox, but it works. To heal, you must . . . shine the light of compassion on any areas within you that you feel are unacceptable." While I personally believe this is a crafty strategy, I suggest adding a twist in order to double its effectiveness: As you're loving yourself for your difficult feeling, literally laugh out loud at how crazily worried and wound up you are about it.

--The flip side of this: Resistance generates energy....
Course of Action? Stop running. Scream. Cry. Break down. And finally Embrace the Other.

Here are the ghosts, still shouting in my head: "Useless Intellectual" and "You think too much" ... Here are the critical voices: "Writer in a world where there are already what feels like too many words, not enough listening, not enough small righteous actions. Fearful and cautious in a world that desperately needs daily heroes.

I love myself for being an Intellectual. Another one of those quiet writerly types...

Why not just throw things away? -- There is no away.
There is no place to go. Nothing we need to become that we are not already.

liked G's too...

Taurus (April 20-May 20) According to Harper's Index, 97 percent of us believe that following our own conscience is a sign of a strong character. On the other hand, 92 percent of us think that obeying authorities shows strong character. What that apparently means is that most of us feel we can and should heed the dictates of our own conscience and please the people who control things. In the coming weeks, I think that might be possible for you to do once or twice. But most the time, I suspect you'll have to decide between being either an impeccable rebel or loyal devotee.

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